Deciding to try marriage counseling is a big step. For many couples, going to see a professional for help with their relationship feels like a last resort. It’s only after months — sometimes years — of struggling with frustrations, hurt feelings, and smoldering resentments that marriage counseling starts to seem attractive. And sometimes it takes a flat-out crisis to finally push couples through the door.
This tendency to delay getting help is understandable. (Who wants to go to marriage counseling?) But the truth is that couples who are pro-active about getting help for their relationship sooner, while they still like, trust, and appreciate each other, tend to have a better outcome in marriage counseling. If couples wait too long, negative patterns can erode their relationship to the point where there is not enough goodwill or trust left for even the best marriage counselor to piece back together — even with the kind of experienced, effective, and evidence based marriage counseling that we provide. And that’s an unnecessary tragedy for everyone. I don’t want that to happen to you (or your family).
When in doubt, go. The biggest mistake you can make is to have hurt feelings, toxic communication patterns, and resentments continue to build. Things often do NOT work themselves out. Instead, negativity takes over your relationship. There does come a time when it’s too late. Don’t worry about how much it costs. Marriage counseling is not expensive. Divorce is expensive. (In fact, divorce takes a toll that is emotional, psychological, relational as well as financial — for both adults and kids.) Marriage counseling an investment in the happy, successful future of your family that has value beyond measure.
